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By the end of that year I went home to Rhode Island for the summer with a collection of vibrators and toys to rival any porn star worth her salt.

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Rather than judge, she and my other suitemates gathered 'round to help me pick and choose my first vibrator.

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I panicked the worst thing you can do when you have something in your butt and tried to yank the dildo back out but it was going nowhere.

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Here’s Exactly What You Should Do If You Get A Sex Toy Stuck In Your Butt

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So I did the only thing sane thing a person in my position could do: I walked to the nearest hospital and tried to give them a fake name.

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There was barely enough of it exposed to get a hold of to grab it properly.

Description: We had a car in the driveway but sitting down was simply unthinkable.

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